


what’s mine is yours

by dannyxmiller



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, post natal depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-03-31 21:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dannyxmiller/pseuds/dannyxmiller
Summary: Liv is a teenage mother living with Aaron and Robert but when the unexpected strikes will it bring them closer together as a family?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So firstly I’ve always wanted to do a story with Liv as a struggling teenage mother. I couldn’t do it as a pregnancy because I’m not advanced enough for a story like that yet. It’s sort of a different remake of Moira’s post natal depression. I really hope you like it.

It didn’t always start off like this.

 

It didn’t start off with loud screams in the night, constant flow of smelly nappies and baby stuff scattered around the house. It began with Aaron, Robert and Liv as a family. They were happy the happiest they’ve ever been but Liv knew she’d mess it up somehow. 

 

Ten Months Earlier 

 

“What does it say?” Faith said out of the blue.

”What’s what say?” 

“The pregnancy test” 

“What pregnancy test?” Liv replied nervously trying to cover her tracks.

”The one you got shoved down your bra”

“I don’t know. I’m too scared to look” Liv replied after realising she’d been caught out because she knew Faith wasn’t going to let this drop. She was a honorary dingle and they all looked out for each other. Always have always will.

“I don’t feel pregnant. I mean I can’t be pregnant” Liv says voice wobbling as if she is about to cry. She hands Faith the test knowing that she has nothing left to lose. After a few moments of staring blankly she said the worst thing she’s could ever say:

“Congratulations love. You’re gonna be a mum.” 

Liv was frozen to the spot. She couldn’t speak at all.

“Liv”

____________

“Liv”

Liv woke up, tiredness working it’s way around her body and hair covering her eyes, making it hard to see. Aaron was standing over her with worry and concern. She let out a yawn and wiped her eyes. Liv picked up the fresh glass of water iff her bedside table. It took her a while for her to register the crying baby on the other side of the room.

“Liv, couldn’t you hear him crying?” Aaron says, holding the baby tightly towards his chest.

“Yeah course I did. I was um was just getting up to help him” Liv lies not very convincingly.

“Liv are you okay?” Aaron asks concerned about his sister’s wellbeing because this isn’t the first time this has happened.

“Yeah course I am you know me tough as nails why?”.

“No reason. I was just worried about you” Aaron says in a soft voice.

“Don’t worry you don’t have to be” She smiles convincingly.

“Okay but I want you to know something”

“What?”

“You know you can ask for help right”.

“Thanks Aaron but I don’t need it”. She lies as she smiles.

Aaron smiled softly at her and left Liv on her own. He stood outside the door worrying about how his sister was really feeling, but if she kept shutting him out he didn’t know what he could do.

Liv was out of her depth. She knew she wouldn’t be able to do this. Don’t get her wrong she loves her baby endlessly I mean who couldn’t he was perfect and absolutely gorgeous. He had light blue eyes, a cute button nose and an adorable mass of dark hair. Liv didn’t know what it was but since she’d had him she’d been acting weird around him. She couldn’t sleep, focus and she was constantly worried. It had happened ever since the nameless baby had been born. Aaron was right she did need help but she didn’t want to admit it to him. She didn’t know what it was she loved her baby but she couldn’t look after him he would be in danger around her. Liv can’t stand to be near him whenever he’s in the room she either ignores him or looks the other way. It’s like he’s hers but he doesn’t belong with her. She tries to keep away from him at any chance she can that’s why she was worried that maybe Aaron had sussed her out. She wants to confide in Aaron but he knows what it’s like to be abandoned and he wouldn’t want his nephew to feel the same when he grows up thinking that because his mum isn’t around anymore she doesn’t love him. He deserves a parent that will grow to love him and will protect him from harm. Liv isn’t strong enough to do that and she doesn’t think she ever will be so she’s going to aaron how she really feels about the baby.

Aaron stifled a yawn as he came walking down the spiral staircase. “What’re you doing down here?” He asks.

“Sleeping. What does it look like?” Liv replies.

“I know that why” he says “You’ve got your own room upstairs”.

“Baby started crying so I came down here”.

“You mean he’s still upstairs” Aaron says surprised “Liv you can’t keep leaving him on his own whenever he starts crying”.

“I’m sorry okay I must’ve fallen asleep” Liv says, trying to defend herself although it was hopeless “I didn’t mean for this to happen”.

“You never mean for it to happen Liv but it keeps happening” Aaron shouts. The room goes silent. This wasn’t the first time Liv had done this so Aaron was beginning to get worried for both of them.

They sat in silence until they heard Robert come through the door. “Hey” Robert says. He goes silent after feeling the tension between Aaron and Liv “Everything okay?”

“You talk to her because I can’t get through to her anymore” Aaron says frustrated as he storms out the door.

“What was all that about?

“Nothing” Liv says shortly. “It doesn’t matter” she says frustrated, giving him a stern look. She turns around to the other side of the sofa trying to avoid eye contact.

“Liv, tell me the truth” Robert asks “What was all that about?”

“I left the baby upstairs on his own for a few hours” Liv says.

“Liv why would you do that?” Robert says. “You can’t leave him alone for that long he’s barely a month old. That’s really dangerous anything could’ve happen to him”.

“I know okay I don’t know what happened I just couldn’t stand to hear him crying it was driving me mad” Liv says.

“Liv that’s not an excuse you’re his mum you need to look after him and stop being so selfish” Robert says “Vic and Adam would kill to have a baby right now. If you didn’t want a baby you should’ve thought of that before”.

After seeing Livs face Robert regrets his words after he hears how silent the room has gone.

“Liv I’m so sorry I didn’t mean—” He sees her eyes water before he has a chance to finish she runs up the stairs tears flowing heavily.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv is still trying to avoid her baby.

It was a few days later when Liv stopped trying to avoid Robert even after all the things Robert had said to her when he was mad. The baby was sleeping in his Moses basket, making cute little noises while Robert sat beside him. She sat at the top of the stairs contemplating what to say when she sees him. They hadn’t spoken for days. Sure they’d had their differences at the start but Robert had never spoken to her like that before so she was shocked. He was her other brother she knew that he really cared about her and her baby and that’s why he got so mad. But the anger she saw in his eyes was unexpected even to her. Liv casually walked down the spiral staircase catching Roberts attention.

“Liv I’m so sorry for what I said the other day” Robert says regretfully.

“It’s cool” Liv replies casually.

“No it isn’t I should never have spoken to you like that” Robert says.

“Yeah” Liv says feeling guilty “but you weren’t completely wrong”.

The nameless baby is awake and smiling innocently. “Hello” Robert says, smiling at him. He smiled back at him which even gave Liv a half smile. But her happiness is short lived when Robert tries to pass her the baby but she recoils away from him, confusing him.

“Oh no you keep him” Liv says unbelievably “he’s fine with you”. 

“Liv are you okay?” He says worried.

“Yeah I’m fine just a bit tired” she says deflated. “I’ll be upstairs”.

Robert looked down at the nameless baby with a confused look.

Liv ran up the spiral staircase all the way to her room. When she got there she shut the door quietly and slid down the door softly crying. She’d been keeping this in way too long she knew she was going to break down sooner or later. She just didn’t know it wasn’t going to be this painful. She didn’t get it she loved her baby endlessly but she could barely look at him it didn’t make sense to her. When he’d cry she’d try to block it out, when he needed changing she pretended she didn’t realised. She’d sit up all night watching him and listening to him sleep knowing that any minute he was going to stop breathing and she couldn’t do anything to stop it. Whenever she felt like this she thought back to how Moira was when Holly died. She was broken but kept it to herself so she suffered in silence just like Liv is now. She wants to confide in someone because she knows one day she’ll slip up and social services will be all over her and try to take her baby away. Liv is worried Aaron and Robert will hate her if it comes down to that they’d blame her for it all. That’s why she felt trapped and why she felt she couldn’t tell anyone. It was hard enough being a teenage mother but it was harder with her feeling like this without knowing what was actually happening to her. Hours passed as Liv sat there tears still streaming down her face like a waterfall. She heard her baby crying from screaming at the top of his lungs. So Liv grabbed her phone and her headphones playing her music at full blast trying to block out the noise from downstairs. It took ages until the screeching stopped which is when Liv took her headphones out. She thinks back to what Robert said a few days ago about how she was being selfish when she had a baby of her own free will when Adam and Victoria couldn’t which made her feel guilty so she got an idea in her head. She didn’t know whether or not it would work but she had to give a shot not just for her for the nameless baby as well.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv does something irrational and Aaron begins to worry about her mental wellbeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably get a little sad but nothing too drastic. I hope you enjoy it.

It was the middle of the night but Liv couldn't sleep. She kept replaying in her mind what Robert had said about her being selfish and how that Adam and Victoria would kill for a baby. But that wasn't the case it really wasn't she loved her baby more than her own life but it just didn't feel like the baby was hers it felt like it was a mix up and he was the baby Victoria and Adam were hoping for. It all made sense to her now her baby still nameless was better off with Adam and Victoria. They knew what they doing, what they needed and most importantly they certainly wouldn't leave him alone crying in the night because they couldn't stand the sound of him screaming at the top of his lungs. She knew sooner or later she'd end up hurting him and that's what scared her the most but that's the weirdest thing. She'd always love him there is no stronger love than an mother and her child but that just wasn't the case. Nobody would understand how she's feeling because Liv herself doesn't even understand how she's feeling. She feels trapped and lost in a world of discovery. Liv knew she was way out of her depth she knew they're are plenty of teen mums out there even younger than her. So she wonders to herself if they feel the same way and if they've ever done what she has. She didn't know if it was because of her age, or she was getting overly stressed or maybe because she just wasn't ready to be a mum. She could barely look after herself let alone a baby. When she's around him she doesn't want to give him hug like other mums do she wants to be as far away from him as she can. When she does want to hold him it's because she feels she's forced to protect him. Liv had almost hurt him and held felt no remorse to it what sort of mother does something like to their child. Liv didn't have a good upbringing so she didn't really have anything to compare it to but she knew that most mums don't feel this way towards their babies. She had to look after her and her mother that's why she thought she was bigger than she was. She'd had to grow up without her dad being fed a bunch of lies about him not knowing the actual truth. He'd brainwashed her and turned her against the only person she cared about Aaron. Sure the truth came out in the end and there was a happy ending but Liv will never stop thinking about what she'd done. The guilt really got to her but eventually she forgave herself. Aaron and Robert had taken her in even after all that they'd forgiven her for everything she'd done. The biggest shock of all though was telling them she was pregnant granted they weren't so happy at first. They all came together in the end because that's the sort of family they were. Liv thought she was invincible but since her baby was born she realised she wasn't. With all this thoughts swirling around her head she snaps out of her thoughts to hear her baby making a loud crying noise from across the hall. He probably had the cutest face expression which made her think hard. He deserved a better life with a mum and dad to protect him from harm but that was a life that she couldn't give him.

Liv eventually managed to go to sleep after that as she knew what she was going to do. She was going to give her baby to Adam and Victoria they certainly deserved him way better than she did. Liv slept like a baby after that it's easy to sleep when you've got nothing to think about. A few hours later, she forced herself to get out of bed and go and make some breakfast. Luckily, there was already some toast in the toast rack. Aaron and Robert rush off to the scrapyard to get some early shifts in so they could have the evening off to spend with her Liv and her baby but little did they know that one of them wouldn't be there when they got back. They'd given Liv her baby but she wasted no time putting him the moses basket once they'd left. Liv needed to get ready so she brought the moses basket so she could watch the baby in her room incase he needed anything. After she'd got dressed, done her hair and dressed the baby she was ready to do the hardest she would ever have to do but she has to do it for him. He meant the world to her and his happiness was all that mattered to Liv. She hadn't taken his buggy but she did take his baby bag because she wanted to do this quickly so it wouldn't hurt as much but it'd still hurt the same away. Liv walked from The Mill all the way to Keepers Cottage. She knocked on their door Victoria answered almost instantly. She'd taken a personal day as she needed a break from work. Victoria welcomed here into her home and when the door was closed and they'd made their way to the living room. Liv wasted no time in telling Victoria what she was doing in her house. 

"I want you to take him." Liv says casually putting him in Victoria's arms.

"Oh you want me to babysit thats okay just-" Victoria starts but Liv cuts her off.

"No I want you and Adam to have him as in he's your son now" Liv says showing no emotion.

"What do you mean?" Victoria asks shocked.

"I mean he's way better off with you guys you can love him and give him all the things I can't." Liv says on the verge of crying.

"You don't mean that Liv you're-" Victoria says.

"I do mean it" Liv says angrily cutting Victoria off again "I hate it I hate the way it looks and all it does is cry and it drives me nuts and I can't stand it anymore so he's yours".

That's the last thing Liv says before quickly running out. She began to cry really heavily because she'd been holding it for too long. Tears streaming down her face like a waterfall. It broke her heart to say all those horrible and nasty things about her baby because it really wasn't true but Victoria had to believe that it wad to keep him. It was the hardest thing Liv had ever had to do but she knew it was the right thing. Adam and Victoria could give him all the things Liv couldn't and that was enough. He was better off with them at least that's what Liv fought herself to believe. She didn't go home though too many memories of him there. So she ran off all the way to the cricket pavilion to cry even more where no one could hear her or ask her why she was so upset. They'd hate her if they knew. She's craving a drink instantly remembering the bottle of vodka in the kitchen drawer at home but she couldn't. Liv didn't know why but she fought herself not to go back to the house just to get a drink to take the edge of something that she'd chosen to do out of her own free will. Victoria couldn't run after her even though she wished she could she wanted to know what was up with Liv. So she picked the baby up along with her bag that went around her neck. Victoria walked out of her house heading for the pub but her journey was shortened when she saw Aaron and Robert walking towards her.

"Hey Vic" Robert asks casually "What are you doing with Liv's baby?"

Victoria didn't want to talk about this out in the open.

"It's better if we go to the Mill" Victoria says gesturing for them to go inside. They wasted no time in rushing home.

"So what's up?" Aaron asks confused.

"The weirdest thing happened Liv came round and she put him in arms and told me that he belonged to me and Adam because she couldn't look after him and couldn't give him the things we could and said that she hated him and he drove her nuts and then she ran off I couldn't chase after her though. I don't know what's wrong with her." Victoria says thoroughly. Aaron and Robert stare at each other until they think of something. That's when they decided to sit down. 

"Maybe she's not coping as well as we thought she was" Aaron says "Sometimes she can't even bear to be in the same room with him she'll leave him crying right in front of her".

Robert chimes in saying "The other day I was holding him and I tried to give him to her and she recoiled away from him like she couldn't even touch him". 

"I don't get why she decided to give him to me though out of all people?" Victoria says sincerely. 

"This is all my fault" Robert says apologetic.

"How?" Aaron asks casually.

"The day she left him alone crying I got mad and I told her thats she was being selfish and that you and Adam would kill for a baby but I never thought she do something like this though".

"It's not your fault Rob" Aaron says nicely.

You don't think maybe she has-" Victoria starts but stops.

"Has what Vic?" Aaron asks worried for his sister.

"You don't think maybe she has post natal depression" Victoria says sadly "It is common in young women". 

Aaron and Robert stare at each other guilty.

"We should've seen this" Aaron says guilty "If we'd know quicker maybe she wouldn't have tried to do this".

"Why couldn't she tell us?" Robert asks upset.

"It's not easy to share" Victoria says sadly.

Not long later Liv eventually finds herself back at home the room filled with Aaron, Robert, Victoria and Adam all there staring straight at her. She knew what they were there for and it wasn't going to be good. She sits down on the single chair away getting away from everyone. The room is silent for a short while until Aaron undoubtedly breaks the silence. 

"Liv we know what you tried to do" He says sympathetically unknown to Liv.

"Are you mad?" She says casually to Aaron but staring at Robert.

"No we aren't" Robert says softly "We're just worried about you".

"We want to know what's wrong with you Liv" Aaron says supportively. Liv gets ready to reveal how she actually feels.

"I sit up all night watching him and listening to him sleep knowing that any minute he's going to stop breathing and I won't be able to stop it so I thought if I gave him away I'd stop feeling like this but it didn't work" Liv reveals sadly "No matter what I try and do I can't stop thinking about him and it's all I think about." Liv begins to cry so Aaron walks over to Liv and gives her a big hug while she cries into his shoulder heavily.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron makes Liv realise that she isn't alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know Seb does exist in this fic but at the moment he's living with Victoria to make things easier. He might feature later on not sure for definite. Let me know if you want him to.

It was the middle of the night when Aaron was just standing by Liv's door watching her sleep so soundly. How could he have not realised that she wasn't coping? He was her brother he was supposed to look after her. When Liv was pregnant, Aaron, Robert and Liv had made all these rules about how they'd all stand by each other so she wouldn't feel alone and help out with the baby when Liv couldn't but Aaron realises that maybe they talked more than they acted out. Liv was sixteen with a baby and most likely had post natal depression. Liv was his little sister and all this time he didn't realise that she was broken and shattered when he was the one that was supposed to be protecting her from all the demons she was hiding away from. Him of all people should've known the signs of mental illness and he still couldn't believe it. He knew that Liv was good at hiding things but he didn't expect her to be carry this much of a burden. All that time she must've felt alone and depressed and he didn't notice. But what about that baby in the other room? He didn't deserve to be brought into the world in a situation like this he needed to be protected as well. Looking back it all makes sense to Aaron why Liv would leave him alone crying in the room, why she couldn't name him or why she couldn't even bear to hold him sometimes because she thought she'd hurt him little did she know she was hurting herself more by pushing him away. All Aaron can think about is how alone Liv must've felt she was sixteen with a baby to her name. Sure he'd be her responsibility she knew that but they were a family and families always support each other no matter what. Why couldn't she tell him? Was he that much of a monster? Then it hit him maybe she was protecting him as well from himself. Liv knows where Aaron's mind goes with things like these. He resorts to self harm and blaming himself when it isn't even his fault. She didn't want him to blame himself for something she'd done or would do. They were okay at the start they weren't perfect but they were a family but then Liv became more secretive and kept to herself which is probably when the first signs started to occur. Aaron wished he'd caught it from then so he could've stopped Liv trying to give her baby away and make her realise she wasn't alone but he didn't and it had already happened. After a while, he decided to head to bed. They had a lot to talk about later.

Liv woke up a few hours later. Robert had left to go and do some paperwork at the portacabin as Aaron and Liv had a lot to talk about alone. She walked down the spiral staircase and saw Aaron watching TV but he quickly switched it off when he acknowledged Liv.

"So Liv-" Aaron says anxiously before Liv cuts him off.

"Yeah" Liv says quickly.

"Do you want to talk?" Aaron asks casually.

"What about?" Liv asks

"There's no easy way to say this so I'm just gonna come out and say it Victoria thinks you might have post natal depression" Aaron says nervously.

Liv opens her mouth to speak but no words come out instead her eyes just start to water. She knew she'd been struggling but she never thought she'd have post natal depression it didn't seem that serious. She never acknowledged how serious what she was doing was. It all started to make sense the leaving him alone crying, trying to give him away, not wanting to be near him. It was all starting to come together. She didn't know what she was doing she had no clue but tried to act like she did but it didn't work. 

"It's all starting to make sense" Liv says while crying "Why I did all those things that no normal person would do".

"Woah wait a second" Aaron says defensively "don't think for a minute that this is your fault it could happen to anyone".

"What do you mean?" Liv asks "This is all my fault I brought this on myself"

"No you didn't and I know it isn't a quick fix but you can go to meetings and speak to people who feel the same way you do"

"Then what I'll be cured" Liv says defensively.

"No it will take a while but you'll get there" Aaron says convincingly "because you'll have Robert and I by your side all the way".

"I really thought I could do this on my own more fool me eh" Liv says unconvinced.

"But you didn't need to" Aaron says sympathetically "and no matter how lonely it feels you'll never be alone".

Liv made a small smile but Aaron wasn't convinced so he went up to her and hugged her harder than he ever had before.

*

After their long deserved conversation about the best way to fix Liv they heard a little gurgle coming from the baby monitor. Liv instantly froze and Aaron noticed and decided to try and help her out and her reaction was not what he had expected.

"I'll get him if you want" Aaron asks helpfully.

"No it's all right I got it" Liv replies confidently.

She took her time to walk up the spiral staircase and hesitated when she got to the door of Aaron and Robert's bedroom where the baby had been sleeping recently until Liv was ready to have him back with her. Liv found the courage to go inside and see what was wrong with him. She guessed he was hungry because he'd slept for quite a while. She watched over him in his moses basket gurgling away with himself. He'd smiles when he sees her which gives Liv a half smile. It felt weird being near him when she'd spent so long avoiding him all that time. She leans over and picks him up and sits with him on the bed not knowing the baby monitor is on.

"Hey little one" Liv says gently "I'm sorry you haven't seen much of me recently. I've not been feeling very well which is why you've been seeing a lot more of Uncle Aaron and Uncle Robert". Aaron smiled after hearing that. "I realise now that I was doing the wrong thing putting too much responsibility on myself which is probably what made me sick but now I know that I'm not alone because I've got those two numpties to help me with you now haven't I?" Aaron smiled at that too. "The point is that even though you haven't been seeing much of me it doesn't mean I don't love you because I do more than you'll ever know but I need to get fixed so that I can be the best mum I can be for you because you totally deserve it." Liv sits in silence for a bit until he finally decides to bring him downstairs to find Aaron smiling softly.

"What?" She says confused.

"I heard everything you said through the baby monitor" Aaron replies happily.

"Rookie mistake" Liv says smiling.

She sits down next to him on the sofa and gives Aaron the baby so he can feed him his milk. Out of nowhere she says:

"I finally thought of name for him" Liv says grinning leaving Aaron unconvinced.

"What is it?" Aaron asks worried.

"Matthew" Liv says casually.

"Oh that's a really cool name" Aaron replies honestly "I was worried for a second there"

"I know" Liv says evilly.

*

It wasn't long after that that Robert eventually came back an hour before it got dark which is when Aaron told him the baby's name which he genuinely liked. They were actually happy all of them and Liv was satisfied by that. After a while, Liv decided she needed to go and take a shower while they watched the baby until he fell asleep. For the first she was happy and she loved feeling like that knowing she wasn't alone. She went into her room, shut the door and took her phone off the charger. She dialled a random number until she reached their answering machine.

"It's Liv. Look I need to talk to you. It's important. Ring me back when you get this." She says casually before hanging up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think Liv rang? Wow this is a long one for me which is probably why it took so long sorry hope you're satisfied whoever is still reading this. I really hope you like his name.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me how I can improve but no hate please :)


End file.
